Tiger's Chances at the PGA

Tiger continues to shock and amaze. As golfers go, he can blow pretty hot and cold. After a lackluster 5 over trunk slamming across the pond this July, just the 5th time in his career to miss playing on the weekend, he responded by blowing the grass off the course at the Buick last weekend. And that was without his A game.

Tiger, it seems, responds almost wholly to his whims on a weekly basis. Like a cat toying with a mouse, the mouse remains alive only because the cat has not yet tired with playing with it. He looks almost bored, or at the very least, irritated. Perhaps the time on the road is finally wearing thin on the doting dad. Tiger is a guy that enjoys his fun, his friends, and his family, and answering the same asinine questions every week must eat at his patience (ex: "Tiger, is the knee giving you trouble?", "Tiger, is your swing not holding up?", "Tiger, can you please speak to me so that I can get my face on television and maybe bring some credibility to the burgeoning golf publication, Putts Magazine?"). With 69 wins and a nauseating $87 million in earnings, Tiger's bullshit meter must be pegged on dead red every time he is asked about the health of his game. In fact, I consider him a great sport just for answering any questions at all. He could just as easily say "scoreboard" in response to every question, and then walk out. You can say whatever you want about Jack and Sam and Ben and Bobby, but Tiger IS golf, and has the world in the palm of his hand as a result.

To win next week at the PGA, though, Tiger is going to need to get a handle on whatever malaise creeps over him from time to time and focus on the task at hand. Hazeltine is going to give him all he wants , playing stupid long at 7674 yards, with three holes playing over 600 yards. Take a second to reflect on that. The next time you play 18 holes, imagine facing one 600 yard hole. You are going to have to hit three great shots, period. Now narrow the fairways to about 30 yards wide, cut the fairway down to a 1/8 of an inch so the ball not only releases off the tee, but releases into the first cut or into a bunker. One hole like this would test your patience, but three holes would press the limits of your ball-striking and your course management. If Tiger is going to score the way he needs to in stacked field on a course of this length, he will need to put a steering wheel on his driver. The wild, laid off, "dip and block" move that he brings out every round needs to take the week off. In a perfect world, Hank Haney would have his flight from Palookaville to Minnesota accidentally rerouted to outer Mongolia, where he would have to live in a Yurt for a week while he waited for transport back to the 1st world. Haney is only going to get into Tiger's head and get him more open on the way back, laid off at the top, and then rotating like a 125 mph gear on the way down. If Tiger is smart, and he is, he will have Stevie the Bull keep Hank at arms length and limit the conversation to how bad Charles Barkley's swing is (and how Hank only made it worse).

We'll cover more on Tiger this week, as he is well-positioned to dominate a course that will eliminate other excellent players by virtue of its extreme mileage. Shorter hitters have no chance next week, so when you place your bets, just cross off anyone who can't fly the ball over 270 yards. The short hitters will be worn out after the first round from all of the long irons and hybrids coming out of the bag. It's going to be a bogeyfest for some of these poor guys, and Tiger needs to make sure that he does not do anything stupid by seeing every shady part of the golf course in the first two rounds.

Ok folks...we'll do this again soon. And remember, if it's not Gofl Blog, then it's just plain gofl.

SC